Red Flags are a green light - Jack Napier
The only reason I ever spoke this sentence was because I’ve had experiences with women who, according to the internet, were Satan’s spawn of scum and villainy but were kind and loving in real life.
According to the internet tattoos, piercings and dyed hair are all signs of a disrespectful, broken and promiscuous woman who could never be loyal. Leaving out the fact that most women who look like the pretty blond trad got their shine from a Target bottle to look better for the camera and not her husband.
My experience, though not the norm, has been quite simple.
There are women with tattoos and piercings who treated me like a king and there are women with tattoos and piercings who made me question reality and made me want to put a fucking noose around my neck.
Same with women without tattoos and piercings.
At the end of the day I only have her actions, not her words or appearance, to judge her on.
‘What are ‘Red Flags?’
Red Flags is a subjective description an individual uses for traits, characteristics and or behaviors that excludes people from interacting with them in a platonic, business or romantic fashion.
I could give you some arbitrary list of things to avoid but the fact is that it’s all up to you to decide what you deal with or not.
What it comes down to, is what you want.
I know what I want and don’t want and what that is, has no influence on you.
You are not me.
Be like me it worked for me is very big in this space because a lot of readers and watchers don’t live the life they want so they look for someone to tell them how to live.
But I’m not going to tell you how to live. I’d rather tell you to go and live.
Make your own failures, find your own preferences and create your own experiences.
From those experiences come lessons and from those lessons come stories.
And with all those different stories from all those different men we can swap notes.
Everybody gets one
Rob once told me everybody gets one which in my opinion is the best approach with ‘red flags’ like the traits being spouted online.
But what makes the exception to getting one?
Those are what I would call crimson flags but you don’t have to. Keep calling them red flags if you like.
These are characteristics and or behaviors that get no pass. They get instant excommunication.
These aren’t things you can see on a person. These are things you can only experience with a person.
I think we can all agree that cheating would be one. There are men who choose to have an outing themselves and call it even and if you’re one of them: get yours.
I would cut everything right then and there. There are elephants in the room you can’t put a carpet over.
Substance abuse is another. But we’ve all heard of the ‘save-a-hoe’ mentality where a guy will sacrifice himself in order to try and save a woman only to find out she can not be saved and will drag him down with her in this foolish attempt.
‘Law 11: Avoid the unhappy and the unlucky’
Poor financial decisions or no financial future. Women who rely on being bailed out for whatever shitty situation they got themselves into.
These are just a few examples to bring the point home that you can’t SEE these circumstances on a person but you figure them out about them.
You won’t know they’re there until you know.
Substance abuse can be seen after a certain point, or smelled, but you’d be surprised how good people are at hiding things.
What it all comes down to is that your experience forms your wants. If you have no experience you will have no point of reference and with no point of reference you only have well constructed clickbait on social media.
Now get out there, fail, touch some grass, get burned but most of all…
Live life.